"Unfortunately, a super abundance of dreams is paid for by a growing possibilty for nightmares."
There has never been more truth to that than now. I am so optimistic for this new year, for the most part because I am more stable than I was last August, but that's not saying much. At least this year I'm hoping not to have a breakdown the first day of school. I know this optimism won't make it past October, but I try not to think about it.
The nightmares are back, about school, but mostly about the usual. I try not to sleep, but I don't know whether I'd rather have the nightmares or my thoughts. I've been reading Alhin's old letters and notes. The best advice he had for me last time this was happening was: STOP DREAMING YOULL BE FINE. and to medicate.
I miss him, I wish he was coming back before school started, he's the only human thing keeping me together. This is gong to be his second-to-last year here, before he goes back to MD. That is if he even finishes his senior year. He seems so eager to go he may just take summer classes. I'm not going to ask him to stay, he has nothing else keeping him here, and I'm not going to be it. I dont blame him either, if I was him, I'd run from here the first chance I got and never look back.
Also, due to the fact that someone so cleverly stole my stash box, it's been close to a month since I last SIed. Well, just blood.
I really would not have minded if said person had taken it, and then put it back. Or taken it and said something to me about it, I mean, there was some pretty incriminating stuff in there. I just don't like that they just took it. I've been smoking a lot thanks to that. It's bothering me that I have developed a cough. but I don't mind.
I'm going to try to sleep now. I'm tired. | 
